Nightmare

I had a nightmare last night. Dreamt tt I was talking to Jean n chris. Told them why i decided to leave.. And I broke down in tears...

I cried when I told about how I lost my 2 friends. Very very good friends. I hated myself during their funeral. Hated myself for not spending enough time with them. Time & time again, I asked myself, why was I so stupid to do those "networking" stuff. Instead of going out n just spent some time with them.

I'm a cancerian, and i'm very emotional n semtimental. Today, u might just spent a day with me, for lets say 2hrs, and i will remember tt moment forever. Perhaps, its good, but perhaps, its not tt good.

Some people says,its good to not remember at thing of the past @ all and just move on, so that we can start everything afresh. But can tt be done?

I read this in my camp. "Our best diary - Memory" Meaningful isn't it?

I still havent got over with e departure of my 2 friends. I just cant take it althought I know I should. THe were like my big brother, taking care of me.. I still remember how Jiahui used to be e leader and orgainse everything. For example last year this time, he would call all of us, and say, "Ah, monkey.. chinese new year eve come my house and have steamboat together.."

I miss those days he called me monkey...

Well, like wat i always say to myself, got to move on... but haiz, e pace along this path seems to get slower, lonelier n also narrower..

But thankfully I still got baby around by my side whenever i need her. "Raining days, u will get very emotional n sentimentail" Thats wat she told me. =) Its true.

I'm still stressed by her, wanting to get Lacasa, tot its our dream place.. but given my situation currently, I cant take it... I'm just a NSF,not knowing what I'm doing everyday. Haha... 1 more year before I ORD. Tot I have made some plans, but I still have my reserves.

Nevertheless, I told my mum that I want to give her a good life. THerefore, I would strive... JUst give me so time. That will do.

2006, a brand new year, a brand new start. And I got a pretty nice chair, long stool? from IKEA. And I'm pretty happy with it. =)

I'm starting to appreicaite ART. I think that ART as in threate, musical, concerts etc, needs alot of time to prepare for it and its hard work. Tot its expensive, however, compared to watching a movie @ about $15 (inculding popcorn combo etc) per pax,around $30+ if I'm watching with baby. ANd going for a musically @ around $80-$100(pretty good seatings). I would choose the latter.

Because, ART its very original, you get to watch real! @ that very moment, u get to enjoy the feeling,the surronding, the ampotsherpe. And most important of all, those people spent a lot of time practisting for it. Whereas for a movie, u can easily download it from the internet. I'm not encouraging downloading of movie from the net but until something can be done 100% to overcome this problem of privacy, that's one revenue where u can get free movies, or, if u wan to really support original, wait for a few months, 2-3months max to wait for their vcd,dvd to be out in stores. ORiginal vcd cost $20max,or $5 for rental. ANd I'm talkin about original. For priated movies, u noe e prices.

Well, i never heard about priated Musicial, nor download musicial from the net. Anyway, i don't think its nice watching musicial from the screen as u can only focus on that area. I cant believe that I'm slowly moving into arts. Haha, and to think that I used to think that ART was a waste of time and for rich people.

No dobut its quite expensive, but I think it has its value. Anyway 2yrs back while wooing baby, i promised her that i would take her to see e musical,"Forbbiend City" by kit chan. hee.. why, i guess i changed my muscial after genting trip. We went to watch "xtreme" Its not a musical but the kind of settings and feelings is something... u need to be there to experience it.

Life is short, Enjoy the most out of it. Don't worry too much about money. Everyday, MAS is printing money. So, you cant earn ALL the money in the world, not even ALL the money of SIngapore. So, enjoy whatever u want to do. Don't regret it. DOn't betray yourself. Follow where your heart brings u to.

I told myself this, even if today I don't have money. I will lead the life of the poor. In the life of poor, I would save the very last bread for baby. If I have some money today, I will lead the life of e average people, I will make sure my baby has her fill. If I have money today, I will try to give watever baby wish for.

I'm contented when I see that smile on my baby face.