Can success be measured by?

Elections

2006-04-25T06:21:00.000+08:00

Lets talk abt elections today... Honestly, when the hints of elections came... the 1st thing that came to my mind was.. I wanna vote for the oppositions.. Because I feel that the PAP had dominate singapore for a long time. And I wanted to see if with some oppositions parties, would it increase the strength of PAP. Well, my concept is very simple. If you are in possess of a ball for too long, u will tend to forget that u r playing against another (weaker) person. However, if out of a sudden, ur ball get stolen by that so called weaker person, u will of coz reflect on what went wrong for u etc...

However, this few days, I must say, the oppositions parties have disappointed me deeply. 1st, is the law suit between Mr Chee n MM. Mr Chee is a bankrupt and that make things worst. Would u wan a party in ur GRC that is linked to a bankrupt? It affects the image of my GRC.

2nd, look at the oppositions party candidates... most of them look so old... like bussiness man.. r they really willing to give up their business to manage a GRC?

3rd, while reading the straits time yesterdae... one of the workers party if I'm not wrong.. think is MR Tong or Mr Pong.. cant remember.. anyway, he looks plum to me... Straits time asked the candidates to "carry on the sentences" like... "My greatest regret is..." "In School I was known as the..."

And u know what he replied was " MY greatest regret is I have no regret" Sounds silly? Lets face it.. we all have regret... saying those words to me is like when i wanna chase after a girl n i tell her i love her, one n only.. when i have said that to a number of girls before. *just use it for example*

N the worst is... " IN school I was known as the BAD BOY" haha... when i read that, i dun wan a thug to be a member of parliment for my GRC. Definantely not.

Lastly, the lastes batch of candidates from workers party.. MOst of them are SALESMAN!!! And we know how good salesman are at coaxin the bird from the trees.. Most of them have degrees like PAP candidates.. but theirs are PRIVATE.

And u noe the youngest candidate at 24yrs old? I mean... a 24yrs old to be a MP? haha.. BULLSHIT. If that guy is some scholar from overseas or he did something great for singapore, den he's worth my respect.. but mind u, that guy is an ITE graudate.

Imagine an ITE graudate running ur GRC, n ur kids do not do well in their studies... U scold them n they replied u.. "But Daddy... our MP also from ITE what... So doesnt mean getting poor grades I cant me an MP! I wan to be like our MP!"

Oh my god.. I will move out of that GRC...

All the best to my PAP candidates! At least, he's a minister.

*above are my personel comments and I am not linked to any party. I'm just an innocent voter*

2006-04-05T15:43:00.000+08:00

Finally had the time to blog... So much things to blog abt... well, recently brought a new 14" TV for my cozy room.. hmm... i dunnoe why i need a tv in my room when there are already 3 TVs in the house. haha... perhaps its due to the progress package that i wanna reward myself alittle...

Next, I'm Proud to annouce I'm an official Biathelete! haha.. Up next will be Triathlon...

Hmmm... other than these usual stuff, there's nothing much else to blog... Waiting patiently for my RELC results...

Start Of Cold War

2006-03-16T13:01:00.000+08:00

Cold war has started. N its starting because of a silly small matter. We quarrelled over house.

It used to be such a sweet thing to talk about.. But as the harsh reality sets in, its not romantic. Its STRESS..

If, we are talking abt 3room flat, there is absulutly no stress. But we are talking about condo! Nowadays, I'm slowly beginning to feel that talking about condo is so boring~! Yes, its BORING! I don't even want to think about it~! I don't even DARE TO think about it. WHo doesn't want to live in condo? Of course I wan! But can I?!

I'm only 21!!!!!! 21 years old!!!! I'm still serving the nation, getting a miserable ALLOWANCE of $349.20 per month~! WHO AM I TO THINK ABOUT CONDO?!!!

21 years old, at the age where most guys are still aimless in life, serving the nation, studying. Here I am preparing for my future, making plans for my little small family... But, to make a decision now is IMPOSSIBLE!

Before any decision is made, i wanna give myself alot more choices, like buying HDB b4 getting a condo, resale flats b4 we upgrade... but it seems there's no room for negotiation at all... SHE DUN WANNA LISTEN. SHE ONLY WANT CONDO!

is it wrong of my to give myself more choices? to find out which kind of flats truly fits my budget? No, a CONDO IS A MUST!

I know, her friends of her age are getting married.. But look at their husbands? 20+, 30+.. n my cousin is more ridiculus! married someone nearly 40!

Of coz they can afford to buy houses, condos.. I dun even noe if i can afford to buy a plasma TV now.

ARgh..........

Life

2006-03-06T18:12:00.000+08:00

Been a long time since i last updated...

well, pretty much things happened... I was suppose to be in Formation Swimming Team, But my supervisor, being a fucking selfish Bastard, didn't let me go... In e end, I went ard asking for help... N I succeed! Haha.. Life as an attached out personnel is really good.. coz i meet more ppl..

Been training for my upcoming biathlon too! I guess I'm all ready for the event coming up on 26 March.... My target is to complete it without stopping!! If I can do that, I will go for OSIM Triathlon... yeah~ MY sporting spirits are back!

1 more year to ORD date... in fact, less than 1 yr... 11mths plus.. I always have the feeling that, if I ORD, I will become a real adult... Well, for now, I take myself as a young teenager transforming to become an adult.

Army days are some of those last few days in life where you can do some things that you missed doing in Secondary school or poly life. ( well, at least for me as a stay out personnel)

I can train for biathlon during my army days, I can swim for my formation... I can run for my formation, I can play sports for my formation.. But after I ORD, will i still have the time to do all these?

Adult life is damm stressful... Bills, loans, kids, family, wife, commitments, expenses... etc etc etc... n house.

Went to visit my frenz who passed away at mandai... 3 of us went... 3 of us.. good frenz... it used to be 5 of us... really really good frenz.... My Basketball team, My Soccer kaki, My Pool Frenz, My bowling buddies, My soccer team... Our Team..

Yet, he has to leave at such a young age.. 21 yrs old. I feel sad. When we went to visit him... we spent abt 2hrs plus with him.. N we started to chat abt how our life use to be so carefree....

Its really carefree.. yet now, so much worries....

However, we are going to make it a point to visit him at least once every year. He's my friend.

Swimming Meet

2006-01-24T15:20:00.000+08:00

Went for my formation swimming meet for the 1st time. Haha... I took part in 50m Breast Stroke, 50m FreeStyle, 50m Backstroke, 50m Butterfly.

Have completed my breast stroke. Qualified for the freestyle, the backstroke dunnoe is final or heats.. Anyway, I find the meet alittle bit cock up..

For the timing wise.. i sms to baby.. ask her to keep for me.. coz i dun wanna look at it as it might affect my performace for the other events.. Haha.. Surprisingly, i did very badly in my breaststroke.. which i have expected to have a chance in the top 5 at least.. but in the end i came in 8th place.. Disappointed tot however, I have myself to blame.. coz i have really negleceted my breaststroke..

Since the start of the new year, i been focusing more on my back,free and butterfly.. I guess this is the results of over confidence. Something that my sec literature teacher has warned me about before.

However, I cam in 4th in the freestyle and backstroke. I'm quite happy with it. WIth my performace.. Thinking back, i think i swam really lousy in my breaststroke.. Must think of ways to improve on it..

Tml, is 50m butterfly.. I dun aim high.. Coming in the top 3 has never been in my mind. I went for this meet with a mentality that is.. "Just enjoy myself.. Experience the feeling of a competitive swimmer in a competition."

Honestly, i wanted all these experience for my students. In future, I'm going to coach competitive swimming. That's my aim. Surely I can share with them the experiences and the stress and pressure. Crowd Pressure. I like to share my experience with kids and see that they benefit from it.

WHen I was young, no one has ever shared this with me expect one of my swimming coach. I can still remember how he coached me and help me made my way to a sliver in breaststroke.

Hence, I'm quite disappointed in not achieving well in breaststroke today.

Well, I only got myself to blame coz I have not been training hard for this meet. hehe...

My objective is the biathlon. I wanna enjoy the experience and complete it. To me, Winning is not everything. Winning is just a form of recognition. You might win today, but u will not win forever.

Just like in gambling, you can win today, but one day u will sure lose, n when u lose u might lose everything( heard this from Channel U) hee..

What I wanted from this meet was just the experience, I had the experience when I was in pri 6. But after so long.. it seems to cool down.. so i wanna heat up that experience again.. If I win something, its a bonus. But I guess I have alreadi won myself in terms of timing. I'm proud of myself.

Next up, after this meet will be Biathlon.. ANd here I comes Biathlon~!~

Tired

2006-01-21T19:09:00.002+08:00

Had my IPPT on friday. Now I'm feeling really really tired. Tot I passed, but i will still be taking my standing board jump again to achieve my sliver. Came in 1st for my 2.4km run, however my timing was not quite wat i had expected. 11:21. tot during my BMT, it was 11:30. But I been training hard for it. However, I'm still quite happy with it.

Had a little quarrel wif baby. Not quarrel, just being unhappy about her. Perhaps its my fault. But ever since dad ask me to go for that operation, it has been bothering me. When ever i hear abt it, think abt it, or i see it, I feel so upset, I mean.. its like, I will tell myself.. damm it..

Maybe I didnt tell baby abt it.. but its really bothering me. I tried not to think abt it.. but still.. haiz.. whenever anything abt it comes.. it just piss me off... I simply dont have e mood.

Supposingly to go chinatown wif her, promised her b4 that i will bring her there. Its a sat, its a day for both of us to be together. But... over there,will be her sis n her aunt. If in e 1st place when we say that sat is meant for us to be together, den why get her sis n aunt? I'm very angry when i 1st heard it.. but i try to please her...

After watching memoirs of geisha, i'm just too tired to do anything. I'm so hungry, all i request was to haf dinner wif her. N.. haiz.. forget it.. I'm not in a good mood now..

Musical For e very 1st time.

2006-01-16T19:29:00.000+08:00

(Pic source from http://www.artscentral.sg/sceneinsingapore/thisweek.htm#kungfu)

Yupz.. went for my 1st musical for the very 1st time after living for almost 2 decades. It was Kungfu musical by Robin Leong. Well, he owns his own production company and sort of that. Called Chi` International or something like that. Just know that tis musical was produced by him n him company can liaoz. haha. However, I must say.. for a 1st timer going to the esplanade, it was really a real eye opener for me!

Ok, it began we driving to the esplanade and cant find a slot in B1, so we went to B2. B1, the cars look so normal, i mean.. cars tat u can see at any shopping centers. However, as we proceed to B2, I was shocked!! Guess what they have over in B2? Cars! Cars tat u dont get to see very often. Cars like BMW 3 series, Posche, Beattle etc... its like, its a place for all the branded cars.. And I was just wondering how come there are such rich people around. Haha.

Anyway, back to the musical. Before the musical start,I feel like I was in another dimension.. THe surrounding of the theatre, the music when we 1st enter, the atmosphere.. Woah~! It feel so nice, and they are smart! They made that area a place where u cant receieve any signal on ur mobile phone. Haha.~ So that we can enjoy the musical. Well done!

Talking about the music when baby n I just enter. It captures our ears and also our heart. And we were commenting on how sweet it sounds like.. And I brought the CD! For a price of $25.. which is rather expensive for a CD. But for a piece of sound track that u cant get it anywhere or download for the net (Havent check it out, anyway i dun bother), I think its worth it!

I listen to that cd for the whole of sunday! haha..

Jan '06 - Engineers Formation Swimming Meet.
CHinese New Year

Feb'06 - Mum's Birthday
Biathlon Swim Trail (30 laps, 40mins) Currently my time is around 32mins -33mins
Valentines Day

Mar'06 - Dad's Birthday
Biathlon @ East Coast
Windsurfing Coast (not confirm yet)

hee.. I 'm lookin for all the way till march for now! hee..

DId u saw e news?

2006-01-12T19:38:00.000+08:00

The lates news made me took a pain n hard decision. That is... to take down e music tt was formerly on my blog. With reference from Channelnewasia website

"We would encourage such bloggers to come to the one-stop centre to apply for the necessary licence. We are charging a rate of $1,000 for bloggers that does not exceed the usage of 10 songs."

I find it stupid and not practical. Paying money to get licence so that I can input music on my blog? Nah... Haven't they thought before this question - Where did they get the music from in e 1st place? Illegal downloads!

Haiz.. SIngapore, only wanna suck people money. But I'm a honest citizen. I don't break the laws. =) So, there goes my music. But i guess I would still post lyrics of songs that I like. Hope I don't need to get them licence(Someone pls tell me if i need to do so!). Haha..

Nightmare

2006-01-10T10:54:00.000+08:00

I had a nightmare last night. Dreamt tt I was talking to Jean n chris. Told them why i decided to leave.. And I broke down in tears...

I cried when I told about how I lost my 2 friends. Very very good friends. I hated myself during their funeral. Hated myself for not spending enough time with them. Time & time again, I asked myself, why was I so stupid to do those "networking" stuff. Instead of going out n just spent some time with them.

I'm a cancerian, and i'm very emotional n semtimental. Today, u might just spent a day with me, for lets say 2hrs, and i will remember tt moment forever. Perhaps, its good, but perhaps, its not tt good.

Some people says,its good to not remember at thing of the past @ all and just move on, so that we can start everything afresh. But can tt be done?

I read this in my camp. "Our best diary - Memory" Meaningful isn't it?

I still havent got over with e departure of my 2 friends. I just cant take it althought I know I should. THe were like my big brother, taking care of me.. I still remember how Jiahui used to be e leader and orgainse everything. For example last year this time, he would call all of us, and say, "Ah, monkey.. chinese new year eve come my house and have steamboat together.."

I miss those days he called me monkey...

Well, like wat i always say to myself, got to move on... but haiz, e pace along this path seems to get slower, lonelier n also narrower..

But thankfully I still got baby around by my side whenever i need her. "Raining days, u will get very emotional n sentimentail" Thats wat she told me. =) Its true.

I'm still stressed by her, wanting to get Lacasa, tot its our dream place.. but given my situation currently, I cant take it... I'm just a NSF,not knowing what I'm doing everyday. Haha... 1 more year before I ORD. Tot I have made some plans, but I still have my reserves.

Nevertheless, I told my mum that I want to give her a good life. THerefore, I would strive... JUst give me so time. That will do.

2006, a brand new year, a brand new start. And I got a pretty nice chair, long stool? from IKEA. And I'm pretty happy with it. =)

I'm starting to appreicaite ART. I think that ART as in threate, musical, concerts etc, needs alot of time to prepare for it and its hard work. Tot its expensive, however, compared to watching a movie @ about $15 (inculding popcorn combo etc) per pax,around $30+ if I'm watching with baby. ANd going for a musically @ around $80-$100(pretty good seatings). I would choose the latter.

Because, ART its very original, you get to watch real! @ that very moment, u get to enjoy the feeling,the surronding, the ampotsherpe. And most important of all, those people spent a lot of time practisting for it. Whereas for a movie, u can easily download it from the internet. I'm not encouraging downloading of movie from the net but until something can be done 100% to overcome this problem of privacy, that's one revenue where u can get free movies, or, if u wan to really support original, wait for a few months, 2-3months max to wait for their vcd,dvd to be out in stores. ORiginal vcd cost $20max,or $5 for rental. ANd I'm talkin about original. For priated movies, u noe e prices.

Well, i never heard about priated Musicial, nor download musicial from the net. Anyway, i don't think its nice watching musicial from the screen as u can only focus on that area. I cant believe that I'm slowly moving into arts. Haha, and to think that I used to think that ART was a waste of time and for rich people.

No dobut its quite expensive, but I think it has its value. Anyway 2yrs back while wooing baby, i promised her that i would take her to see e musical,"Forbbiend City" by kit chan. hee.. why, i guess i changed my muscial after genting trip. We went to watch "xtreme" Its not a musical but the kind of settings and feelings is something... u need to be there to experience it.

Life is short, Enjoy the most out of it. Don't worry too much about money. Everyday, MAS is printing money. So, you cant earn ALL the money in the world, not even ALL the money of SIngapore. So, enjoy whatever u want to do. Don't regret it. DOn't betray yourself. Follow where your heart brings u to.

I told myself this, even if today I don't have money. I will lead the life of the poor. In the life of poor, I would save the very last bread for baby. If I have some money today, I will lead the life of e average people, I will make sure my baby has her fill. If I have money today, I will try to give watever baby wish for.

I'm contented when I see that smile on my baby face.

What does SUCCESS mean to you?

2005-12-13T13:26:00.000+08:00

Haha.. so ironic!

Today's Straits TIme CATS RECRUIT. One of their articles was What does success mean to you?

I like reading this page of the straits times. Because everyday they have small little articles that either inspires you, or gives u an outlook of how the working society is right now. Today's article particularly caught my eyes.

Keys to Success: Part 1 of 2

At the end of a chat about a career coaching, a young man asked me: "When will I be successful?"

An Indian expatriate, Mr Amit, was 29 years old and working for a Fortune 500 consulting company. The company had just sent him to Delhi to set up its Indian division, and he was being considered for a long term posting to run the business there.

I was surprised that Mr Amit did not already see himself as a success. Most people are still only warming up at 29. What more could this fellow want?

I was even more amazed by his answer: "I want to be on the cover of TIME magazine." Of course I laughed - not the politically correct response, but his earnest nature was at odds with his ambition.

Having watched other young professionals rise to the top and being feted by their industry and the business world, Mr Amit felt that he could not consider himself a success unless he made it to the cover of TIME. "I thought I'd be there by now," he mused.

This led me to thinking about waht success means to people. If you asked yourself why you are not successful(yet), let us take a look at what you think success is.

People have different ideas about success: Some are happy just to be successful; some need to acquire the trappings of success in order to feel successful; while others need success to validate their lives, and have to go from one high to the next, or risk feeling useless.

Success depends on your expectations of life and everything it revolves around: family, career, friends, society and hobbies. Your idea of success could mean being finacially stable, having children,buying bigger home and retiring aborad. Or you could be someone who has a great carreer, but feel that your personal life is a failure, perhaps to the extent where the other parts of your life feels devalued.

It is difficult to put your finger on how "successful" people really feel inside. It will be prepared to say if everything they have achieved has made them happy. Here I dare venture that success and happiness are so closely related that they might as well be the same thing.

Your values shape the way you look at success. Peace at home. good health and faith may be success for a spiritual type of person, while others may seek wealth and possessions as a measure of success.

In Mr Amit's case, his parents were his main obstacles. As immigrants, they were dismayed that their son was going to move back to his homeland. To them, leaving India represented success, while the oppposite was true for Mr Amit. Furthermore, his upbringing did not allow him to discount his parents' opinion. The end result was a stalemate that Amit perceived as failure.

Opportunity is another factor that influences people's views about success. If you are blessed with good luck, you expect to succeed. On the other hand, if you have to jump through hoops for every dollar you earn, then every small opportunity to do so is a big deal, and every win is something to crow about.

Your idea about what success is changes with time. In your salad days, it might mean being able to accumulate the trapppings of success such as branded goods and cars. Your views change, as you understand more about life. Some things you have or want become less important, and other things take priority, like relationships or looking after the interests of someone other than yourself.

It is normal to doubt yourself sometimes, when nothing feels good and you are not getting anywhere. It is important not to look at one incident or factor in isolation and pinpoint that as the cause of "failure" or unhappiness.

There could be other factors, for example, the lack of degree of personal effort and personal problems. It could be that you are not enjoying your job enough to make success of it, or that you are working for the wrong type of organisation or manger. Do not hand in your resignation just yet - think it through.

As for Mr Amit, if success means basking in the adulation of his peers by being on the cover of Time, he is working towards it in all the right ways, and we might just see him there. Or, in a few years, he might meet someone or hear a story that takes him down a different path altogether, and completely change his perspective on success.

理想情人

2005-12-12T19:08:00.000+08:00

穿上洋装看着手表
时间快到心碰碰的跳
和你的第一次约会来临了

金色的阳光洒满人行道
换了新唇膏把头发弄好
要你看到我的好
喜欢看你走路充满自信
说话时候你的专注眼神
温柔的表情笑容里的天真
我相信找不到有比你更好的人
你心里理想情人是几分
是否也会有我的份

好想知道你的100分会给怎样的人
亲爱的你不要再陌生增加我戏份
我想问亲爱的你把感情升等

朋友变成情人可不可以告诉我标准
不要让我一直等
听着那时间滴答的走
对街的你在点头
好像一个梦渐渐走到我前头

好想知道你的100分会给怎样的人
亲爱的你不要再陌生增加我戏份我想问亲爱的你把感情升等朋友变成情人可不可以告诉我标准不要让我一直等

我的100分早就给了你 - Baby

Chirstmas Tree

2005-12-12T19:04:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time since I last updated my blog... Have been out of the country. hee.. sound so nice horz.. but actually, i went to genting. To enjoy myself with my family and baby.

Silly girl got a mini christmas tree for christmas and my job is suppose to decorate it. n i guess i did! wahha.. think she might get a surprise!

tot, its far from being perfect, but i'm adding a little as e days past.. hee.

PPT

2005-10-28T17:30:00.000+08:00

Few Days ago.. I recieved my 2nd letter from NIE. The 1st letter was to ask me to attend the PPT. THis 2nd letter was to inform me abt e results.. And the results... I got 10/15 !! In another words, I passed! Yeah~!

The passing is 9 marks and I'm not allowed to fail in any stations. Well, considering the results, guess I'm made out to me a PE teacher yeah? hee..

Wish me luck... The next test will be the english test... Follow by the interview... =p

Nassa Bronze Test~!

2005-10-24T16:39:00.000+08:00

It was a great success~! yeah~! It was really a success on my part~! I'm so proud of myself. 11 students went for Nassa Bronze Test, and it was a 100% success rate! Cool arn't I? hee...

Its not just that ok~! My students went for the 12pm test, and in that test, there was a total of 20 candidates, yupZ~! Candidates is the word to use! hee.. And, out of the 20, the 1st 6 students were all mine! Well, tat's not just that, the oldest candidate of mine is in secondary 2 and the youngest being in just K2! woah~! K2! hee... tot, he came in last, but i'm realli proud of him when he did that surface dive. In fact, out of all my students, I'm most afraid of him. Because, 1 being him as the youngest there & also of his "size" hee...

He's consider.. erm.. chubby for his age.. n his damm cute lorz~ if can, i would upload his pics here.. hee.. basically all my students parents commented that he's cute n wanted to pinch him.. hee..

Yup, as i was saying, i was so nervous about him... tot i tried to hide my nervousness.. however, it seems that parents in fact do have a sharp eyes eh? hee.. they were able to see my nervousness.. hee.. or sense it? i dunnoe..

yar, so there he was @ e last lap, when he did his surface dive. n when he did that, i was so proud of him! N i was like, i did it~!

Not, only did he perform beyond my expectations, by doing that dive, he also did pretty well in his breaststroke! I used to think that his strokes are u know, just there... but when i saw wat how he swam yesterdae, i was so proud of him~! Well, not just him, i have alot of surprises~

hee.. most of my swimmers swam really well... n end of it, while talking to one of the parents, she said... "its like.. we been waiting for this day to see them doing the test.." hee..

yeah, its a small step for me, 100% pass rate. Next, they will be going for their silver, gold n eventually, if they are still with me, competitive. That's my dream. to see them in the competitive swimming.

Speaking of which, the day before the test, when i was at the pool, i saw 2 coaches teaching competitive swimming.. i was thinking there by myslf.. how nice would it be if those were my students.

Nevertheless, i'm gonna be a good coach. I think in fact, I'm an excellent coach now, because I'm the kind that parents trust in, and students love me! hee..

However, a successful good coach cannot be done by himself, in fact, if realli without baby, i think i cant be that good as wat i am now. I have alot of improvements to improve on. But its because of baby that makes me strive on.

As i was talking with alex today, we talked alot of things and talk abt e "business" that i used to do... well, its a lesson learn. But its also becoz of that "business" that make me realise wat i really want.

And we were talking about babies! hee.. i was saying, how nice it would be if there's a 2 year old child who would keep saying.. "papa...papa..papa.."

hee.. i think its gonna be fun... n it all came after i told him abt e tv show that i saw on channel 8 last nite regarding that priscilla Kong... hee..

Well, i learn alot from that show, Lawerence Kong and Priscilla Kong. oH and Lawerence Kong so happen to be baby pastor. I learnt from them that, whats most important thing in life is to do something that u realli have a passion in, no matter wat obstacles that might hinder it, do not give up. So long, u perserve, u will see results.

Swimming, I'm sorry I used to almost give u up. But I promise u, I would never do that again, because its my love to teach swimming other than loving baby..

~Missing u~

2005-10-22T08:25:00.000+08:00

Last nite... i think i cried myslf to sleep... was thinking about my 2 frenz.. i miss them... it's such a terrible feelings of missing someone..

nevertheless, got to accept it n carry on with life..

Raining Season

2005-10-18T17:40:00.000+08:00

This month is full of rains... full of tears... hardly able to see those rays of e sun, n feel e warmth of it.. is e world getting colder nowadays or is it e lost of my frenz tt had make my life so cold??

its always e case.. whenever it gets cold or it rains, i get very emotional, very semtimental, very lost.

Nervous

2005-10-17T18:27:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. i dunnoe wat to put for e title for this entry.. coz i feel so lost... went for NIE PPT... afraid i cant get thru... I'm nervous..

As one gets older, death seems to be inevitable... last week, my ex girlfriend dad's pass away... haiz.. when i went there, i feel so immune.. to e kind of surrondings.. its as thought, i been there alot of times.... it seems that, i'm losing alot of frenz...

Was with my girl @ Bishan 8 yesterdae.. did something rather "silly" wif her.. went for some coloring session organise by converse... in e end, think our resluts turn out quite well man~ anyway, so long, she's happy.. i dun mind being "silly" wif her for tt moment... She's a nice ger any man would long to get hold of...

~Special Day~

2005-10-14T08:55:00.000+08:00

To me, today is gonna be a very very special day. BEcause, its my 1st time going for NIE PPT. A critria needed in order to get into NIE as a PE trainee.. Hee.. n after that, i will be taking my Ncap level 2, where I would hence be 1 step nearer to becoming a level 2 coach.

Coaching is my life, i enjoy teaching esp to kids. Its e kind of smiles on their faces that makes my day. Those smiles too.. remind me of those days where i was as a kid.. with no worries, n certainly, death was not on my mind.

As a read e papers yesterdae, 1 guy who got a heart transplant managed to live till 20 yrs later.. he said something like.. "why go for all the names n certs n money? because when u die, u will have to leave everything behind." It kinda makes senses to me @ this phase of my life.

Strangely, nowadays whenever i wake up from my sleep or my afternoon nap, e moment i open my eyes, i would say "Thank you". I'm not a chrisitian, thought I'm like a bit of Taoism, but erm, i'm actually free thinker, i believe there are super natural forces out there but I do wish n like to "classified" them. Therefore, whenever I wakes up, i would say "Thank you" to whoever out there is looking after me n protecting me.

After so much that has happened, I value life more, I treasure life more. I'm not that hot tempered anymore, I treasure my family n my frenz even more. I'm not that particular about life, people n things that are happening around me. I take whatever that I'm given and I try to give in any way I can. I try my best.

But I still believe, if i can make it to become a PE teacher, I would make a great teacher n a great coach!

My Dreams - To see my athletics on the winning platform.

You give up on us...

2005-10-06T00:42:00.000+08:00

He gave up on us... He couldn't fight e battle any longer... But I know, he's a strong guy.. a very strong guy who was determined to carry on life... but he just couldn't do it.

I miss him... We grew up together ever since we were small, from playing block catching together to having tution together to being in the same primary sch to being in the same class in Pri 5 & 6 to playin soccer together n always thinking of ways to run away from e cops to basketball khaki to supper khaki to so many so many things... He was around when i needed a fren juz to keep me company. He was there to study together wif me for my o levels.. He was more than a fren, he was like a big brother to me.. But now, he's gone.

No words can ever say how much i miss him nor how hurt i feel. I guess only tears can represent it.

Double Impact

2005-10-01T00:31:00.000+08:00

Today is childrens day, yet, while I am here blogging away, my very very good fren of mine is lying there in ICU, due to brain tumour. Chances are, he might never be able to wake up.

Why? I been thinking thru these few days... He's just 21 years old. He had yet to enjoy the taste of life, e fruits of his studies, e love of his recent gf, e warmth of a family. And he's lying there now, in coma...

I am not trying to bad mouth anything about SAF over here. BUt anyway, if SAF wanan charge me for wat i blog here, go ahead. Because, its YOU! SAF! U! U took away my 2 very most good fren in this life! And Because of you! I lost them! 2 Friends! Who could and might never be with me during my happiest times in life and my saddest times in life! WHo would enlighten me about life, who would teach me things like how a big brother would teach a younger brother!

You guys keep talking about safety 1st safety that. Buy do you guys really care about us!? I lost my very 1st friend because of this fucking thing called safety! And till date, I do not even noe wat the fuck happend!

And for god sake, this fren is super duper FIT! Hes' SOF!And yet, hes gone... Just like tat! Leaving behind his parents, n we frenZ!

And now, within 3 months, my 2nd frenz is now lying there in ICU!And it happened during guard duty!

Now, looking at all those tubes around him... I.. I.. I just cant see him longer... I cried. I cried badly..

He's my childhood frenz, my ex neighbour, my pri sch classmate, my basketball khaki, my soccer khaki, my supper brother, my brother.. He's... my fren, a good good frenz.

The kind of feelings when I heard abt it. My heart brokes. 2 cases, and it all happened because of U! Fuck UP SAF! DO u know that you took away 2 good frenz of mine! 2 guys who lost their lives because all they wanted to do was to protect the nation!

When we guys go to the MO for serious and truth medical reasons, ur fuck up MO thinks we trying to play punk, trying to kin our way to downgrade! FUCK! When we are realli sick, n yet u give us this kind of doubt, than wats the point of lying of lifes down! You tell me!

NOw, charge me if you wan coz i dun care! U guys never cared abt how we felt! ALl u guys cared was ur face, ur reputation to the public! Do u guys ever cared for us? Do u guys know How i feel!

I lost 2 frenz! ANd it all happened in ur fuck up organisation, ur so called, education-organisation! I say fuck u!

Do u know? we are not even 30, not even 25! But because of a "call of duty", does that means we have to lose our lifes because of it?

Do u noe? we are sons of a mother and a father, we have parents, we have loved ones, we have frenz, we have our interestes, we have our passions, we have Dreams, we have. we have alot more things that has yet to accomplise... but... because of this "call of duty", we gave them all up!

DO U EVER REALISE?!

watever gonna happen to our parents if we are gone? watever gonna happen to my girl? watever gonna happen to so many many so many ppl ard us? Wat abt our dreams?

This few days I am in a state of shock. I cant accpet. I just cant.

I cant imagine the worst. I cant. Because lying down there in the ICU is my good frenz, my best frenz.

God likes to play a joke on us. Really. WHy must u take away something from us when we are about to learn the truth of life? When we are turning into men?

I'm scared.

New Beginning New Blog

2005-09-27T16:06:00.000+08:00

Yeah... after sometimes, i decided to get a brand new blog, choosing a brand new name... its been a hard and long time since i last made my decision...

I decided! To carry on doing wat i love doing most and i aspired to be a PE teacher.. yeah, i wanna give my best shot and try to be a PE teacher.. because Sports all along has been something wat i wanted to do.. hence, i will and i wan to go all out for it. Tot, the pay is not tt attractive as wat i used to do, however, i feel more satisifition in there.

For me, i guess my success is being measured by the number of smiles i see on my kids faces and the number of hugs n kisses i recieved from them.

Like me, I am still very grateful for my swimming coach n my lifesaving coach. They have taught me well. Althought, in the past i do not know how to appreciate them, perhaps due to my young age. But, as I grow up, i began to realise the values they instill in me. I am truly Thankful.

Thank you Jack! Thank You Mr Kwa! In between Jack n Mr Kwa, there was also one more coach, i cant remember his name but i think is Mr Tan.. n also last but not least. my instrctor in SAF - Master ALan.

He's someone whos really worth my respect. Thought, when i first saw him, i feel that its like i used to see him b4, but i just cant remember. But, i respect him althought he trained me for only like 2 weeks. I am thinking of getting a card for him. hee..

Therefore, thought my students are all still very young and playful i must say, but i just hope and wish one day when i am walking on the street, they will call me out n say "Jerry! Thank you for coaching me. You made me fell in love with swimming." To me, thats success.

And that is why i keep wanting to upgrade myself. By going for higher levels. I am currently taking NCAP LEvel 2 (Theroy). And guess wat? I am the youngest in the class! I feel proud. And I feel thats the way Singapore Sports Coaches Should be like.. Continuing To upgrade ourselves..

I love my life now. Because I am doing what I love most. And most importantly, with the person I love most.